DOGTRAQ - stealth feature in canine firmware may cause manure overruns
What is it with dogs?-----BEGIN K9P SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA-T
Problem
The firmware shipped with certain dogs contains a feature intended to enable the dog to operate in "stealth" mode.
Stealth mode permits a dog to engage in covert operations in territory controlled by another dog or dogs without the fear of detection other than by optical means. As olfactory detection mechanisms are dominant in canines, optical detection is frequently neither engaged nor adequately maintained and can be discounted.
To engage stealth mode, dogs equipped with this feature will seek out a supply of any substance with a particularly strong aroma and roll in it, thus masking their own scent with that of the substance in question. The preferred substance for canine stealth mode is manure.
A bug in certain versions of canine firmware causes affected canines to engage stealth mode randomly and without due cause.
Further Commentary
As the Manufacturer of all canine firmware does not make version and patch information publicly available, vulnerability to this bug can only be determined empirically.
Solution
None known at this time.
Workaround
Owners of dogs operating firmware exhibiting the buggy behaviour should avoid exposing their dogs to environments where manure is likely to be plentiful.
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Category: DOGTRAQ
Technorati: Coffee and Cats
1. Jerry Carter26/10/2004 15:09:10
Well, it might be better to ask, what is it with people? Dogs have noses that are many times more sensitive than people, leading me to conclude that there is probably something really irresistable about manure when you can really get a good snoot full of the aroma. People, obviously oblivious to this olfactory wonderment have no clue what they are missing out on by not rolling in manure whenever they find a really choice sample. Pitty.
I wonder what feature it is that causes dogs to randomly crap in my yard. Maybe it's that I have no dog to declare the territory. We do have a cat, though, that makes regular rounds, marking off the boundaries of our domain - but apparently dogs are not equipped with a public key for decrypting these markers.
2. Chris Linfoot26/10/2004 15:26:02
Good aromas I understand - I think.
How about freshly ground coffee, or a nice unoaked chardonnay at just the right temperature (I know - that is so 90s), or even just freshly cracked black pepper? Manure doesn't make it onto my list though - particularly the more pungent types my dog seems to favour.
I don't suppose you were volunteering to have a roll in some manure yourself to see what we are missing? Feel free to report back.
BTW - The dog/cat thing is a protocol level incompatibility - their PKI uses different hashes. I suspect cat PKI is much stronger but what do I know about cats (rhetorical)?
3. ScurvyDawg26/10/2004 15:55:20
Homepage: http://scurvydawg.com
I am glad you made a point of saying that was a rhetorical question because I was about to start my research on what you do know about cats.
Whew Good thing.....
4. Chris Hudson26/10/2004 23:35:18
Its not just dogs who do this you know...
Even humans have been know to indulge in this odd practice. 
http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,11189899%255E13762,00.html
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